30 before 30: Get Baptized

On September 15, 2012, I said I do, to the Lord. It feels right. I was pretty nervous in front of the large crowd, but I got over it. 

 Laying on hands, these kids are so cute. I love them. 

I love my minister Bev C Brazier and the United Church of Whitehorse. She's become a best friend, and I hope I will always remain close with her. She inspires me. 

40 days of Lent.

Lent. Lenten Season. I shall sacrifice for Him. As feeble as my attempt may be.

I don’t know everything about Lent, and I am not so sure how it is supposed to look, but I do know it's not what you give up; it's what you do in attitude. I suppose the only way to really appreciate this is by participation, worship, and a whole lot of prayer.

This year, my first year participating, I am attempting to give up Facebook for 40 days. I know saying, "I quit Facebook." doesn't sound like I am doing very much for Him when he sacrificed so much for me.  But have faith; what I am hoping to do with the time I typically spend on Facebook is much greater than one may think.

Life is about loving, living and laughing-together. I am trusting that the time I normally waste on Facebook can be used to enrich my relationship with Our Father, my friends, and family. I want to give them the love and time they deserve. 

When I got sick two years ago with Crohn’s Disease my social life got put on the back burner, and so, my life as a social butterfly stopped dead in its tracks. I have yet to devote the same time and energy into my friend’s lives as I used to. I hope to use Lent as my justification to jump back into life, my old life. The life where my loved ones were the centre of my life; their happiness was the key to my happiness. 

I am largely indebted to my friends who stuck by my side when I sauntered sadly through my darkest days; I owe so much to my community for the resources I’ve been handed through this period. I won’t only be out gallivanting about in social festivities, but I will also be reserving moments of peace. I believe this attitude I am taking about Lent, is also about slowing down, breathing deeply, and taking the time to remind myself what Lent is about and why we celebrate in it. 

I am hoping I can open my heart to hear what He has to say, and give back what He has given to me.

Wordless.

I can't find the words to express myself. It seems none of them, though there are many, come close enough to describe my thoughts.

I'm taking this week off. I'm signing out so I can try to better understand myself. Through God, I hope to come out of this a more understanding and forgiving soul. I hope I discover a slight sense of my purpose, a small reason why I am here doing what I do.

Devil's Advocate

Sometimes you gotta go a little crazy. Sometimes you gotta call your best friend and let it all out. Sometimes you gotta talk about your inner demons, and cry. A lot. And sometimes in public. But at least, your best friend has your hand. And tissue.

I've been my own devil's advocate lately. The devil in me has been testing, rather wearing out, my positive side. Breaking me down. I'm losing sight of myself.

I do not care to expand. I think it is time for me to step back in order to figure it all out.

I've lost touch with my sense of purpose. I have lost sight of God's plan for me. I thought I had it figured out, I was pleased with the Grace He has showered upon me. But, I am lost. Maybe I have lost sight of God. I seem to give Him my leftovers, maybe... I dunno? I need some time.




But the LORD has become my fortress,
and my God the rock in whom I take refuge.
-Psalm 94:22

How Great Is Our God.

Each time I hear this song on the radio, I can't help but to belt out the chorus along with him.

This song also reminds me of the Church I went to a few times last summer. It was more fun than my Church Home, but I felt like we weren't taking God seriously enough. Plus I love the old hymns we sing at mine.

I have a feeling that I will need to hold God's hand and leap this week.

Family.

Today I am thankful, and so very jealous, of the gift that is family.

It has been really nice to visit with a completely new-to-me family. I've enjoyed listening to the reminiscing of stories that are not mine; I love that they still laugh over them-as my family would. I love that they bicker in front of me; I love that they've requested Justin and I to take separate rooms. I love that they made it easy for me not to miss my own as much.

Today I thank God for Justin's family.

Merry Christmas.

First off: Happy Birthday To Jesus. Today, and everyday I live for Him. I celebrate Him. Each day I try to be better for Him. It feels good to give back what He has given me.

I hope that you've all had the chance to celebrate whatever it is that you celebrate: family, love, God, or whatever. I hope it was lovely for you. I hope you ate, and laughed with your loved ones. I hope you stumbled upon new traditions, and practiced the old ones too. I hope you snuggled on the couch, and had the chance to dust off your ice skates. I hope you indulged in delicious hot cocoa. Because, these are only a few of my cherished Christmas memories, but essential for the holiday season.

My Christmas with Justin has been fantastic. We've done nearly nothing except eat good food and surround ourselves with his closest loved ones while laughing a lot. When I was thinking about coming here, I was incredibly frightened by all of these new-to-me traditions, new faces, and new food. But in the end, I was being overly dramatic. It has been lovely.

It's been a long, suffocating week for me. It's been full of please-God-won't-you-do-something lamentations. And a few loud, unanswered, Why's?

I'd like a break. I still feel loss, torn, and broken. I am still very confused and I have been praying nonstop for a relaxing Christmas Vacation so I can have time to figure it all out. So God can show me the answers to my questions in His own way.

I am ready for a break, a break where I can feel peace within me, hopeful for my future and surround myself with loved ones.

I always have really high expectations for this season; I wish each Christmas break is filled with a week of cuddling on the couch with classic Christmas movies, hot chocolate, late nights board game sessions, Christmas Light Tours, and tree hunting with the ones I love.

Most often it is spent in a whirlwind racing to wrap last minute gifts and trying to beat the clock. Perhaps this year I will simply try to enjoy the silent minutes in the chaos.

"Time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life."

- Brian Andreas

Quote of the week:

"We should go to Church together on Sunday, I want to sing some old Hymns!" -Kai

Hebrews 12:12

Jesus talks to me through facebook. He hit close to home with His facebook status today:

"Hebrews 12:12 "So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. " (NLT)


Sometimes we feel discouraged because of physical or emotional weakness or tiredness. We may be disappointed by the behavior of other Christians. We may be discouraged by the persecution of others, even of our families. Perhaps we have waited for what may or may not be God's promise to us, and we grow impatient. Many Christians at some time in their life become disappointed with God. Satan uses discouragement to weaken and if possible destroy our faith.


To OVERCOME discouragement we MUST make a DECISION to be STRONG in the LORD! God's Word says in Ephesians 6:10 "A final word, Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power." (NLT)

Blessings † Tania White † Global Scope Ministries."

Micha 6:8

If I were to get a tattoo, (which will probably never happen, (though there is one exception) I'd write this on the inside of my wrist. Maybe I'd just get Micha 6:8. Maybe I'd get it all. Either way it's the rules in which I try to live by - though I often fail miserably. It's a powerful, yet simple message, and it speaks to me.

No, the Lord has told you what is good,
and this is what he requires of you:
to act justly, to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with God.

Micha 6:8

Verse of the Day

Verse of the Day on BibleGateway.com

“How well God must like you— you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road, you don't go to Smart-Mouth College. Instead you thrill to God's Word, you chew on Scripture day and night. You're a tree replanted in Eden, bearing fresh fruit every month, Never dropping a leaf, always in blossom.”

-Psalm 1:1-2 [The Message]

This is not about me, I have been slinking along a dead-end road, I've been bitterly sarcastic - in fact I think I teach at "Smart-Mouth College."

You're not at all like the wicked, who are mere windblown dust— Without defense in court, unfit company for innocent people. God charts the road you take. The road they take is Skid Row.

-Psalm 1:4-6 [The Message]

I've been more like the second part: wicked, windblown and lost. I have been feeling very bitter, angry and mostly alone. Alone, not in the sense that I have no physical persons around, for I have plenty. Alone, as if I am charting uncharted waters and have no other souls to guide me.

The strangest part is that I don't even know what these uncharted waters are? I can't seem to shake this bout of depression that has nestled itself deep within my bones. I keep thinking to myself, "Tomorrow is another day, it will be better. I have so much love," but it doesn't seem to work like it used to.

Micah 6:8

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8


Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.
I don't have the words to express how awesome this verse is.

Cody

We've lost a beautiful soul today.

I have never lost a friend to death before - this is a first. I didn't realize exactly how hard it would hit me even though I have had a few days to process it. I realize that grief has the power to paralyze. It can stop you and make you go breathless, and you might never be the same.

Neither have I watched a friend lose their son before. I'm lucky that I have little experience with death, save my grandparents. I cannot imagine the sorrow one must feel.

It's sadness that gets me, that takes my breath away, that stops me in my tracks and makes me look at the sky and wonder: Why?

As a believer, as a person who trusts that there is more to this life than this, I hope and pray that his life is only over here. That somewhere, somehow, he is laughing and dancing and reuniting.

But here?

Here there is hurt. And confusion. And loss.

When death comes, to a loved one, to a parent, we reflect. And we wonder. And deep down, we remember: This gift will not last forever. We don't have to do anything spectacular with it, we just have to recognize it. Be grateful for it. Relish in it.

Cody has been moved to Vancouver and will be on life support for as long as it is possible. His heart beats strong, but there is no activity in his brain. They say it isn't likely, but we're all hoping for a miracle. His daughter is expected to enter this world next week.

What a mess. A heart breaking mess. I cannot imagine how his mother feels right now.

Life is fragile and we must remember to embrace it fully. We must also not forget to wear out and over use those three little, important words.

Please continue to pray for him and his family.

People are being taken from this world too easily and too quickly.

My friend lost her mom a few weeks ago, and this weekend her son.

I question you, God. I question you.

You've done so much good to me, but not for others. Why?

I neither feel grateful for my own life, nor like the shining light I need to be for her.

It hurts me to be okay, and so happy when she's at the very bottom.

You can do nothing to heal those kinds of wounds.

Dear God, give her strength.

Philippians

Every now and then I need to be reminded or retaught how to give and receive love; I find I don't always do a good job of it. Which, I believe is an important skill to be equipped with these days.

It's been a long time since I've sat with God and studied His Words. I did this for a while after Church today. I studied the book of Philippians, which fits so well with where I am at in my life these days - Laying down my glory (if you can call it that) to become a better person.


Philippians 2 1-18

Imitating Christ’s Humility

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Do Everything Without Grumbling

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

"Believe that there is a great power silently working for good, behave yourself, and never mind the rest."

- Beatrix Potter

Carolyn: I'm lucky to have you

I started the day by asking my friends to simply write their name in a box. With each name entered, M&M Meat Shop will donate a dollar for research on Chron's Disease and Colitis. Which I've got!

Right away my friends sent me messages and commented on the link that they had done it, but one of them took it even farther and made me cry. Carolyn posted the link onto her page and then also to onto her work's page, The Lair Centre. The moment I saw her mentions to this, I welled up and Thanked God for her. I could go on for days about this lovely girl, but I won't - take it from me, God radiates through her.

It's not too late to enter your name in the box either: Click Here

Carolyn, you're one of the most generous people I know - I am truly blessed.

For the LAIR Centre's facebook page (that's loaded with all kinds of good advice and information): Click Here