baby steps

Sometimes the fears of our heart can seem as great as the terror of a crashing wave destined to descend upon us. Ack!

First it was the half eaten bag of chips… Now, I’ve given my mister my spare toothbrush and contacts case for use while he spends the odd evening at my place. This was a huge milestone for me, as I try to round up all of his things before he leaves my place, and put them back into his bag, as I can't allow him to settle into my place. It's absolutely frightening to me! After I said he could have this stuff, I almost couldn’t hand them over. 

I’m so weird: I want him to be there ALL OF THE TIME, but leaving a toothbrush at my place is overwhelming!

Baby steps…baby steps…

Zeee weekend.

Luna: With a mug like that, I can't help but love her.

The said pie... looks better than you think it tastes..

I don't know who was more excited to get in the sleeping bag...

BFFs. No denying it.

Finally, I am walking!

I am baking my second ever pie for Justin's birthday. I am a little nervous because I always have beginner's luck when it comes to this sort of thing, but this is my second time.

You see, I've already slept in and then proceeded to write about it. I have yet to collect the needed ingredients...

If this said pie turns out, it will be late.

"Kelsey Time."

Happy weekend, friends.

Weekend Getaway.

Justin and I went with another couple to a little cabin in Atlin, B.C. for the weekend.

This was the sunrise from the cabin's window this morning. The cabin was nested into the mountain side looking over Atlin Lake.

Peaceful isn't a good enough word to describe how I felt out there.

They went out snowshoeing, but I stayed back to read, think and sleep more.

We played boardgames, watched the football game, ate a lot and had lovely conversations throughout.

I know I ate and drank enough to sink that ship. (Too soon?)

Living was easy, and I am upset weekends are only two short days.

Christmas looked like this:

I taught Justin to bake chocolate cupcakes. We took them to a Christmas Eve Party. He did it all. I only did the icing. I'm slowly turning him into a domesticated man...

Except I did the dishes...

The Christmas Eve Potluck was so good. I think I am still full from this meal!

Meanwhile, at home Luna rested.

Christmas dinner with Justin's family was so good! (I should have taken the lids off for the photo.. who put me in charge of photos? I failed.)

Justin baked an apple pie (almost from scratch) for the Boxing Day Hockey Game Party. Also good.

Justin took me to see The Alberta Ballet Company put on The Nutcracker! So romantic that man. :)

Lunch at Commune. Bread is not my friend, but this sandwich was so good I had to share it with you.

On New Year's Eve Justin played with the kid's toys while they slept.

Airport coffee

I want to tell you so much.

I want to tell you how this has been the most relaxing holiday season yet!

I want to tell you about his family, and friends. The new food I ate, and the memories I will always hold.

I want to tell you about how I don't feel I belong in Whitehorse anymore.

I want to share with you my future.

But.

But, I separated temporarily from Justin to fly home and I feel empty! Serious. It's been maybe 40 minutes.

I started to type, but then I realized I was crying over my coffee in public.

I've got it bad for this boy.

Family.

Today I am thankful, and so very jealous, of the gift that is family.

It has been really nice to visit with a completely new-to-me family. I've enjoyed listening to the reminiscing of stories that are not mine; I love that they still laugh over them-as my family would. I love that they bicker in front of me; I love that they've requested Justin and I to take separate rooms. I love that they made it easy for me not to miss my own as much.

Today I thank God for Justin's family.

Merry Christmas.

First off: Happy Birthday To Jesus. Today, and everyday I live for Him. I celebrate Him. Each day I try to be better for Him. It feels good to give back what He has given me.

I hope that you've all had the chance to celebrate whatever it is that you celebrate: family, love, God, or whatever. I hope it was lovely for you. I hope you ate, and laughed with your loved ones. I hope you stumbled upon new traditions, and practiced the old ones too. I hope you snuggled on the couch, and had the chance to dust off your ice skates. I hope you indulged in delicious hot cocoa. Because, these are only a few of my cherished Christmas memories, but essential for the holiday season.

My Christmas with Justin has been fantastic. We've done nearly nothing except eat good food and surround ourselves with his closest loved ones while laughing a lot. When I was thinking about coming here, I was incredibly frightened by all of these new-to-me traditions, new faces, and new food. But in the end, I was being overly dramatic. It has been lovely.

Punch-drunk Christmas

This might be a strange Christmas, and I am starting to wonder if coming here was my best option. I am not complaining, or having a miserable time. In fact it has been a wonderful time; we've seen "Bright Lights," shopped for gifts a bit, and it's been peaceful. It's that Christmas is a big thing for me. I love to celebrate. I love to surround myself with the people I hold dear. I love cooking for my friends. I love to watch people's face light up with joy when they open the gifts I gotten for them. I love to celebrate Jesus-after all it's about Him!

This year it's not about me. I know what you're thinking, "how will this selfish woman manage!?" and you're right to think so. It's true. This year it's not revolving around me. It feels strange. No Christmas dinners, no couch cuddling and late night Christmas Classics with my sister and mom. All new people, all people I don't know. It seems so daunting and terrifying for this shy woman. The opposite of the Christmas I know.

I suppose this is all part of growing older. Creating new, and separate traditions with new faces. Not all bad, just different.

Justin and I are going to The Nutcracker. With professional dancers! Yes, professionals. Amazing. We're going to bake an apple pie together on Christmas day. Also awesome! Sadly no photos yet. I will change.

As a side note, I'm trying to get Justin to guest blog for me. He's being hesitant so I may have to inflict some of my secret violent range on him...

Enjoy yourselves people.

He's cute, period

I am about to put myself in the proverbial dog house. I can't help it, the world needs to know how cute he is.

I taught Justin to knit. He's a natural.