30 days of saying no. I'm alive.

Consecutively, I've not said no for thirty days. But I do make it a habit of saying no more often. In doing so, I've realized who and what is important to me. I've realized which relationships to pour myself into, and what hobbies are most likely to make me feel whole and important in this world. 

This is what I've been up to the past few weeks:

I've been hanging out with this guy. Tonight was our last visit before he moves back to Vancouver. Heartbreaking, but it feels right. Sad that we won't be doing Thursday Trail Runs, and talking about our other outdoor passions. Going to miss this kid for the next two months. However, I wish him well and hope his holiday to Alaska is awesome. Well deserved, young man, well deserved. 

Trying to plow my way through 12 classic novels. For some idiotic reason, I started with Tolstoy's War and Peace. Good, but hard. 

My office life has been hectic. I spend a lot of my energy, mental and physical, there trying to stay on top of things. Training my replacement has made me realize a) I quite love my job, b) teaching makes me feel good, c) people lie. 

Going to Church and spending quiet moments with God. He knows me well, He brings me challenges, He loves me. It was Blessing of the Animals Sunday. I brought Luna. 

This painting behind me is an interpretation of my favourite Bible Verse:

What does the Lord require of you?

To act justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly with God.

-Micah 6:8

(I consider this the only option for a tattoo on my body. It resonates within my soul.)

I've been cooking. 

Hammocking with books before long runs in the evenings. 

Spending a lot of time with Luna.

Listening to music. A lot. 

Thinking of my grandma. Recently diagnosed with Cancer. 

Spending time with my family. My brother recently got back from Vancouver. He went on a fishing charter, caught Salmon and brought it back to smoke some for me! So freaking good! For him, I am thankful. 

My hermitting, as some of my friends have called it, has paid off. I now know that I require a lot of quite time, I've learned that it's important for me to be still with books, or my dog or just a cup of tea while I gaze out the window. I've learned spending time in my kitchen is good for my health. Not just my waistline, but my soul. I've learned that taking time to write letters and send care packages to my friends in far places is a wonderful thing. Charity work is important to me. Long, slow pointless walks with my girlfriends and our dogs makes me happy. Tea dates. And catch-up dinners make me whole. 

These 30 days have been hard. Saying no is not easy and is still something I have to try hard at. But I've learned saying no won't make the world stop turning. It doesn't ruin lives, but rather enriches them.