I spent the weekend pulling weeds in my backyard, and I noticed the way their roots traveled through the soil leaping from one corner of the garden to the next intertwined with other roots and this made me realize how much I missed my own roots. I miss being grounded and connected with others, laced up and stitched in, feeling like this is where I belong and knowing that this is exactly where I need to be. I miss those feelings of contentment.
I am in love. I’ve had an inkling of it, but I’ve been ignoring it hoping it would go away. I think of this person all of the time and want to spend all of the rest of my days with them, but my heart is at war. I keep going back to this verse: “They went out from us, but they were never really part of us. If they had been, they would have stayed with us. But by leaving they made it clear that none of them were part of us.” [1 John 2:19]. I left, but I never really left. I am still here, still me just better. For him I am better. He deserves better.
I am faced with a very difficult decision that I am not ready to make. I know that whichever path I travel, it is the path He has chosen for me. I have his Grace. I am undeserving of it, but I have His grace.
Hmm that's a tough situation, but you're right: You are submerged in God's grace. Whatever you choose to do, God will give you the strength to live through it.
ReplyDeleteBut faith and courage are separate beings.
Be courageous in this venture, and act. And through your courageous actions have faith that God will see you through.
But its easier said than done, ey?!
JM
Thank you for your kind words, they do not go unnoticed.
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